Relationship Therapy

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about." Rumi

Relationship therapy has made incredible strides just in the last ten years. We are no longer in the dark when it comes to understanding love and what creates a fulfilling, stimulating, emotionally connected, and intimately satisfying relationship. This is very good news for all of us! My training is centered around helping you create the relationship you've always known in your heart you are capable of having.

I often lead couple retreats/workshops to help cultivate more enlivening emotional and sexual connections. Please see my Couple Retreats/Workshops page.

If you have navigated to this page, most likely you're in the midst of relationship challenges, great or subtle, but nonetheless painful and disillusioning. Perhaps you and your partner are feeling stuck and emotionally disconnected, like the lifeblood of the connection has somehow become thwarted. You may have very definitive ideas about why this has occurred, or just vague knowledge that something has changed. You may have tried to improve the relationship on your own, but you find yourselves reaching an impasse. Or perhaps core value differences, infidelity, or substance misuse have ravaged your relationship to its very core, and you have lost hope. If you find yourself relating to any of this, please don't despair. We now have a roadmap to understanding adult love, how and why it can go awry, and what we can do to get back on track. In many research studies, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples has helped over 90% of couples improve their relationship and over 70% of couples recover from distress (if you would like to read more about this, click here).

As a Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist & Supervisor, I work relationally, collaboratively, and compassionately with you to help unearth the destructive, negative cycle that has taken over your relationship, cultivate insight and empathy into what has occurred between you and then set your sails toward more fulfilling seas. I'll empower you with skills to navigate conflict lovingly and effectively while also enabling you to speak your truth in loving ways that deepen intimacy and cultivate a secure bond (this is what the research reflects successful relationships/marriages have), leading to an authentic, engaging and deeply emotionally connected relationship. I will also say that, when appropriate, I use humor to highlight the common dynamics with which all of us in intimate relationships struggle -- couples therapy need not be torture!

In addition to being certified in EFT, I have also trained extensively with relationship expert Dr. Margaret Paul of Inner Bonding (which dovetails perfectly with the principles of EFT) and am a Certified Inner Bonding Facilitator (www.innerbonding.com). Inner Bonding is an inspired modality of healing that helps illumine and resolve the self-abandonment patterns of behavior that most of us suffer from to one degree or another. Lastly, I also have extensive training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and have trained directly with Dr. John Gottman in Seattle, where his illuminating research on couples has led to a groundbreaking understanding of relationship fitness.

I am also fascinated by how sexuality impacts intimate relationships, which led me to undergo extensive training in sex therapy and sexual dysfunction, and I am now an AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) Certified Sex Therapist. AASECT is the most respected credentialing authority for sex therapy in the country, with strict guidelines and ethics in place, along with rigorous training and practicum standards. Having been greatly aided by a sex therapist at one point in my life, I love helping people resolve sexual dysfunction, debunk the common sexual myths that many of us suffer from, and assist them in creating genuinely satisfying, exciting sexual intimacy. That said, I will not push you to explore the sexual nature of your relationship unless you so desire.

I hope this gives you an idea of my expertise and philosophy with respect to how I approach my work with couples. Please call or email me to schedule a free phone or Skype consultation so we can discuss your needs further. I look forward to hearing from you.